Getting ready for New Year... Russian-style

So here I am on a bitterly cold, icy Sunday morning in Sheffield. I could've been doing so many relaxing things... sipping tea while reading a Sunday newspaper, taking the dog for a walk (I don't have a dog, but it sounds relaxing, but I'll make do by watching idiots freezing their ass off taking their whippets for a walk) or watching TV (then again, it's Sunday morning and a choice of religion, cartoons or cooking - that's separately of course, together would be kind of weird... a Bible-bashing Bugs Bunny baking biscuits?). But no, with just four days till New Year, talk has turned to the preparations. There's a Russian in the house... peanuts, crisps and booze will not suffice...

Happy New Year!

Concerned parents

My in-laws, in Siberia, sent several messages because they were worried about us after seeing Sheffield on the Russian news and how it had been affected by the snow.

Sheffield, Dec. 2014

Photo of the Month

One of the things I miss about Russia is the guarantee of snow and the beauty it can bring.

Crisis? What Crisis?

President Putin's major end of year press conference glossed over the current situation in Russia, almost echoing Jim Сallaghan's dismissiveness, paraphrased and immortalised in the Sun headline, "Crisis? What Crisis?"

source

So, what's the feeling among 'ordinary Russians'?

Ouch!

When the Rouble started falling last Tuesday (16/12/14), I saw that the Apple shop was down.

16/12/14 offline

So...

It almost brings a tear to my eye...

... well, not quite. The Guardian reports that the tumbling Rouble saw the owners of two English football clubs take big hits.

Alisher Usmanov, Arsenal owner, lost £517million over 48 hours. I don't know who to feel sorrier for; him, down to his last £8.5bn, or the Arsenal fans who may have to continue complaining about the club's reluctance to spend freely in the transfer market.

Usmanov

Meanwhile...

Masyanya

Masyanya (Масяня) is a popular Russian cartoon character created by Oleg Kuvaev and his mult.ru studio and first appeared in 2001 on the Internet.

I can't stand New Year.

the evil eye...

It's been in the news that, in honour of the final Hobbit film having its Russian premier, an art group, Svechenie, had wanted to place a holographic Eye of Sauron on a Moscow skyscraper to mark the occasion.

The proposed design.

However...

The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

I have little sympathy for governments. They play their games against each other and confuse the country's interests with their own and friends' interests, meanwhile forgetting their citizens' needs. Without taking sides in what's been happening in Russia and Ukraine recently, my sympathies lie only with the ordinary people.

Ukraine is a country caught between two differing beasts - the EU/ the West and Russia. It's like divorced parents offering increasingly larger presents to win the child's affection. The reality is that there is no wisdom of Solomon being dispensed. Nor is there one, genuine mother willing to give up her child rather than it being torn asunder. The death toll of 4300 is sickening figure for geopolitical posturing.

Discussing Peace

Salad Olivier - the history

When I first arrived in Russia and started talking to students about food, it quickly became apparent that the two most popular Russian dishes in their eyes were pelmeniy and Olivier Salad. It was to their astonishment that I'd heard of neither.

Going off at a slight tangent, I once nearly made a group of Russian teenagers cry by telling them that Russian vodka wasn't the best in the world (seriously) and 'proving' this claim by pointing out, with a straight face, that Finnish vodka was about 4 times the price because of the relative quality (not true - it's tax) and that even Britain produced better vodka but Russia refused to import it so as to not lower the status of the domestic product (again not true - hell, I don't even know if the UK distills any, but it was a great lie and fun to see a class full of quivering lips and actually so angrily animated in English to defend their prized, national drink).

In the biggest blow to the collective, Russian, culinary ego since then, I'll start by pointing out the fact (yes, fact, not some fibs to tease a class) that one of Russia's most (self-)acclaimed dishes was created by the francophone, Lucien Olivier, probably Belgian, who had trained in French haute cuisine. Not Russian... cue lots of trembling lower lips...

New Year Comes Early (Recipe - Olivier Salad)

It's clear that New Year is coming... my wife's is getting cravings for salad. Not the British-style soggy lettuce, but the full-on Russian salads. The urges could not be contained and she decided on Salat Olivier, so here's the recipe...

A wing and a prayer

The Siberian Times reports that passengers had to push their plane as it had frozen to the runway at -52°C. There's nothing wrong with that - it's more of a problem when you have to get out to push in the middle of the journey!

Video below.

Disability in Russia

Nowhere's perfect, but the UK has come a long way in terms of increasing access for disabled people, with facilities to work around impairments and the legal right to equality. There's still some way to go here but it's also indicative of the improvements that you don't think twice about ramps in or leading to buildings, notices for subtitles or audio-described films at the cinema, mini, braille signs, wheelchair-sized elevators next to steps in buildings, signs for hearing loops or those knobbly slopes next to crossings and so on.

The differences are highlighted if you go to Russia, where there are far fewer (useful) adaptations...

Kazan: Source

photo of the month

This could be many places in Russia, one of a million courtyards between the blocks of flats - buildings which have a certain uniformity to them.

Tales: contractual problems #1

Samuel Goldwyn is supposed to have said, "A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on." In Russia, the same could often be applied to a written one.

You've got the contract, it doesn't mean you're going to get the cash...

I worked in EFL, teaching English to people who have a different first language. It's fair to say that this profession can attract one or two oddballs, who may not fulfill their part of a contract. Equally, the language school where I worked in Russia did not always deliver on its promises.

Russian Football: Capello's pay woes

News reports suggest that Fabio Capello, manager of the Russian football team, isn't receiving his salary. Hmm, working in Russia and your employers not paying you or not fulfilling contractual obligations... can't imagine that... not!

Capello incognito after a string of mediocre results.

Capello claims that he hasn't been paid for five months. Maybe that's true; maybe his salary is being paid in another currency but linked to the Rouble so it just feels like he's getting nothing in comparison.

Indestructible?

Adler, Russia, 2011

Indestructible?

I'm currently reading Bill Bryson's The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid, an autobiographical account of him growing up in the US in the 1950s. It's an enjoyable read and humorous in a gentle, self-effacing way that seems in keeping with such an anglophile. Anyway, enough of that tangent... so, I'm sure you're wondering why someone writing about Russia would mention 50s America. This short extract made me think of two periods of my life:

Happily, we were indestructible. We didn't need seat belts, airbags, smoke detectors, bottled water or the Heimlich manoeuvre. We didn't require child safety caps on our medicines. We didn't need helmets when we rode our bikes or pads for our knees and elbows when we went skating. We knew without written reminding that bleach was not a refreshing drink and that gasoline when exposed to a match had a tendency to combust. We didn't have to worry about what we ate because nearly all foods were good for us: sugar gave us energy, red meat made us strong, ice cream gave us healthy bones, coffee kept us alert and purring productively. (pp105-106)

 

It transported me back to two times in my life... the first period was when my face was as bald as my forehead is now, in the UK twenty-odd years ago... days when I used to play outside, jump off walls without thinking about how my knees would cope with the impact, whizz down the road on my scooter and climb trees blissfully unaware of the possibility of falling.

The other time was...

baby food

The Director of Studies and I had to interview a five-year old with a view to her having lessons. The little girl, having lived in Boston, USA, for 2 years had an impressive level of English for her age. Also there were her mother and 6-month old sister. Using a book for prompts, she was asked about her favourite food - burgers. Then Helen asked, “Does your sister like burgers?”

KVN/ КВН

KVN, pronounced ka-veh-en, is a national institution. The Club of the Joyful and Inventive is like the Cambridge Footlights kind of sketches and Whose Line Is it Anyway? turned into a competition. It takes the form of clubs, teams often from universities, who compete against each other at city level, regionally and nationally.

Higher Level Contest, from an official video

Meat disguised as chewing gum

AFP report that Russian customs officials have seized EU meat disguised as chewing gum...

The Smell

I could smell it. Walking around our 8th floor flat, there was a definite smell. I was walking around the flat, in that manner unique to locating an odour - head up, neck stretched, nose jutting out, like a feeding chicken stuck on peck.

could be a chicken; could be me sniffing in search of a smell

Russia: A Victim of Bad Press?

It's fair to say that Russia has something of an image problem. Despite the opportunity offered by this year's Winter Olympics to win new friends, Russia is in fact doing the opposite. In addition to the obvious, major candidate of Crimea and Ukraine, there is a steady stream of minor news stories relating to issues such as racism, freedom of speech and homophobia.

Screenshot of the Guardian website today

Recipe: kartoshka cake

The is one of the easiest Russian desserts to make. Kartoshka means potato, yet there's no potato in it... the lying bastards! [edit: my wife's just called me a hypocrite on the basis of mince pies not containing mince... touché!] Still, it's delicious and ridiculously moreish.

Tales of Fire #1

Some of the teachers had been out for a drink or two and got back in late. Two colleagues, Ian and Tim, had already fallen asleep in the lounge and I went to bed . The excitement for the night was not finished, though I didn't know it until the following morning.

 When I got up, Ian recounted the drama thus:

Alyenka Chocolate

Produced by the Moscow-based Krasniy Oktyabr (Red October) confectioners since the mid 1960s, this is one of the most recognisable products on Russian shelves.

Documentary review: Storyville. Russia's Toughest Prison: The Condemned

This is Russia's prison for its most dangerous men; 260 inmates convicted of 800 murders collectively. The documentary, shown as a part of the BBC4 Storyville series, was as interesting as it was depressing. It focused on half a dozen prisoners, the governor and, briefly, a handful of family members and takes us through how they came to be in prison, their guilt, prison hierarchy, family and their future, giving an insight into thoughts and lives, or rather existences, of some of its prisoners and, to a lesser extent, of others involved. Welcome to a world of thin faces, sunken eyes and missing teeth in mouths offering few smiles. a place where hope and hopelessness vie for supremacy in the minds of people who have much to fear on both sides of the walls.

All along the watchtower

Tales of the Russian Post Office #2

The Russian Post Office can be a mixed bag. Sometimes they go the extra miles and then some; other times...

You can always visit their website, if you're prepared to wait.

Gruppa Kino/ Группа Кино

Of this legendary Soviet rock group, I once told a friend that I'd translated a couple of songs. He answered, "You cannot understand. You can know the words but you cannot understand." But I'll try to explain anyway.

Gruppa Kino

Recipe: Golubtsi #1 (with peppers)

Golubtsi is an Eastern European dish, claimed as theirs by half the nations of the former USSR even though it's found across Europe and the Middle East. Essentially it's something stuffed with rice and/or meat, usually cabbage leaves or occasionally vine leaves, particular further south. The Russian name means little pigeons, hopefully not from the original filling. I've done another Russian variant, what we in the UK would call stuffed peppers.

vkontakte

Vkontakte (VK) is to Russia what Facebook is to Britain and America, and more besides...

Small Shops

For a lot of Russians, supermarkets are not the first port of call for their shopping. Instead, they tend to use smaller shops.

Open all hours

Tales of Russian Banks #1

One day, three intrepid teachers ventured into a bank in search of travellers cheques - even then an anachronistic means of cash transfer, but the best way for us in Russia in 2006. We left feeling lucky to escape with our lives...

Banking in Russia

I've never had a bank account in Russia (was paid cash and left to trust that it was all above board on the employer's part - Russia... what could possibly go wrong?!). I did have dealings with banks though for money transfers, currency exchanges and buying travellers cheques. If you only know British banks, those friendly places with smiling staff and complimentary tea or coffee, you're in for a shock...

Football: CSKA Moscow v Spartak Moscow (24/09/05)

I'd worked in Russia a year before I got to see my first match over there.

The Dinamo Stadium's imposing floodlights in the background.

Racism in Russia

Football-related incidents bring issues of racism in Russia to the attention of more people. But that sadly is not the limit of the problem's scope: according to the Levada Center, 28% of Russians feel hostility towards other ethnicities, 34% think that non-Russians hold varying degrees of responsible for Russia's problems, 45% have negative feelings towards people from 'southern republics' and 56% agree with fully or partially implementing policies of 'Russia for Russians'.

No to Halloween

With the end of October fast approaching and the accompanying annual festival, it is only appropriate that Russian politicians come up with some of their own appropriately creepy ideas. Russia Today reports on one such suggestion from the Public Chamber.

Photo of the month

I'll be uploading a photo every month - one that means something to me personally or somehow represents something about Russia.

I thought I'd begin with this one...

Strange connections

While waiting for the kettle to boil, I noticed the Russian bicarbonate of soda on our shelf and started reading the box, as you do,

Russian bicarb

and made the connection with

A match I went to in Khimki, near Moscow

Any guesses?

Animals in the streets

If you saw a cat or a dog in the street in the UK, you'd bet that it had a home to go to, even if it didn't have a collar. Not so in Russia.

No collar, no home

blog name change

Goodbye Life As We Know It: Russia, Hello Another Shore. Call me fickle, but I'm back to second one, this blog's original name.

Squirrels, metaphorically speaking

Lily and I are trying to declutter. We'd been acquiring stuff in the way typical of many new-weds, for whom money isn't free-flowing and life plans change with the seasons. 'We'll take it' and 'we'll keep it, just in case' saw us become overwhelmed by possessions... two washing machines, three Christmas trees (yes, seriously), a printer for which we have no cables or adapter. Insane! Now... ebay if it's worth something, recycling if it's beyond repair in the damp cellar and charity for things that we can't be arsed to deal with any other way. All this got me thinking about stuff and the British and Russian attitudes.

A Siberian squirrel.

The Dacha

Many Russians have a dacha, a country house. If a Brit mentions going to spend the weekend at the country house, you think of the landed gentry and large country estates. In Russia, it could mean many things.

Picking potatoes.

Is Going to Work in Siberia (or Russia) Right for You?

I went over to Russia for the first time in 2004 to teach English; not just Russia, but to Surgut - a smallish town in the frozen wastes of Siberia. The time was right for me and it was just what I needed. That, however, isn't the case for everyone.

Siberia... snow and apartment blocks... get used to it.

Blood Pressure and the North of Russia

In Siberia, there is a common belief relating to the effects of living in such a cold, northerly environment on people's blood pressure.

Nine months of this can't be good for you, can it?

Book review: Gulag: A History by Anne Applebaum

Given as a present to take on my first trip (to inform or to put the fear of god up me?), ten years later I finally finished this impressive work.

Russian food in the UK

When you live abroad for a while, especially when you're talking years, you pick up a taste for the local food, eating habits which stay with you. You miss elements of British food and certain products when you're over there - I remember wanting malt loaf for about a month and having to make do with a dark, fruit bread. Equally, this leads to similar quests for particular delicacies back in Britain...

beer snacks

Recipe: Shortbread with Curds/ Рецепт: Сочень с Творогом

The place where I worked in Russia had its own cafe and they prepared the food in a home-cooked way, but on a larger scale. One of the delights there was the sochen s tvorogom, shortbread with curd filling.

We had two packs of curds in the fridge and the plastic wrapping was starting to expand. They needed using up and there was only one thing for it... shortbread and curds on an industrial scale!

Russian-style shortbread with curds

Tips: Russian Railways

If the very mention of the Trans-Siberian Express fill you with wonderment and a longing for adventure, read on for some tips on long, Russian train journeys.

Adler Train Station

Tales of the Russian Post Office #1

Russia... why queue anywhere for 10 minutes when you can wait for over an hour? I'm beginning to suspect that if there were bread queues in the Soviet Union, it wasn’t for the lack of it but for the inefficiency of people serving.

Russian Post Office/ Почта России

This behemoth of an organisation is as necessary as it is frustrating... and as bewildering to a foreign user. It's one of the most bi-polar of instituions: one day they'll help you wrap a parcel, giving you the paper for free; another day (that's most other days) they are obtuse and the proverbial mule.So, here are some tips.

Tips: choosing an EFL language school to work at

When I apply for jobs, these are some things I consider - questions I ask of myself, of the ad and on the phone/ in an interview and obviously vary according to the job and location.

Russian Superstitions

In my early days in Russia, a friend, Vadim, called me to invite me over. Soon outside his flat. I rang the bell and the door opened. I had already learnt that the standard greeting between men is to shake hands. I duly extended my hand. He looked at it, then at me, “Come in.” I left my hand outstretched but quickly understood that the gesture was not about to be reciprocated. I was confused and wondered if and how I’d offended him. I got inside, unnerved, removing my outdoor shoes in the house, as is usual. Vadim then grabbed my hand and shook it enthusiastically. I was baffled. The explanation was a superstition, which I’ll explain, along with some others I’ve experienced.

An animated version of a domovoi, a character of superstitions, from a Russian film

Recipe: Russian Lace Pancakes

Ready to eat