Getting ready for New Year... Russian-style

So here I am on a bitterly cold, icy Sunday morning in Sheffield. I could've been doing so many relaxing things... sipping tea while reading a Sunday newspaper, taking the dog for a walk (I don't have a dog, but it sounds relaxing, but I'll make do by watching idiots freezing their ass off taking their whippets for a walk) or watching TV (then again, it's Sunday morning and a choice of religion, cartoons or cooking - that's separately of course, together would be kind of weird... a Bible-bashing Bugs Bunny baking biscuits?). But no, with just four days till New Year, talk has turned to the preparations. There's a Russian in the house... peanuts, crisps and booze will not suffice...

Happy New Year!

No surprises in our household, the alcohol's already sorted for New Year's Night. We have the obligatory champagne. No, we're not oligarchs; what Russians call champagne is in fact (cheap) sweet, sparkling wine. Like a cheap supermarket cava in the UK, but half the price... :-) if you're in Russia... :-( if you're in Britain

Hangover... sorted.

Salads... "Salat Olivier...?" Agreed... tick. "Gribnaya Polyana?*" Agreed... tick. At this point there's a tangent...

Rob (English): "Why do Russian salads have such stupid names?"
Lily (Russian): [puzzled look] What?
R: "I mean, *mushroom meadow? Herring under a fur coat? Why?"
L: It's the topping.
R: "Fur?"
L: "Urgghhh, no."
R: "What next? Sweetcorn under a little hat? Cucumbers with stars?"
L: "Shit"
R: "and the Russians would probably put loads of mayonnaise in it."

End of tangent... So, we've agreed on the two salads and the conversation continues...

R: "So, that's the salad sorted."
L: "What do you mean?"
R: "Huh?"
L: "That's only two... do you realise how long that'll last?"
R: [thinks 'oh silly me'; says...] "What's the third salad?"
[Lily's face lights up with joy and is then amused to find that if, typing in Russian, you start to write 'New Year' into google, it soon suggests 'New Year salad']
L: "Crab stick salad. Anyway, we'll need lots to eat throughout the evening."
[At this point I remember something very important about Russian New Year Eve protocol]

R: "But the food gets put on the table and we can't touch it before midnight."
L: [quickly changing approach] "You should have seven salads of course, but we'll manage with three."
R: "Ok."

The compromise is achieved and so some cucumbers and mayonnaise will be available in Sheffield's supermarkets. Unless there's a change of mind. You can bet on it.