Tips: Russian Railways

If the very mention of the Trans-Siberian Express fill you with wonderment and a longing for adventure, read on for some tips on long, Russian train journeys.

Adler Train Station

For long journeys, there are three classes of carriage:

first – two people per compartment

second – four people per compartment

third – open carriages; each ‘cabin’ is 2 bunk beds facing each other, perpendicular to the windows [called upper and lower when booking], and a pair across the aisle and running along the window [upper lateral and lower lateral when booking], with the lower bunk folding up.

The carriage layout and booking process on the Russian Railways website.

The number one tip (you’ll thank me the whole journey for this): toilet roll – take some with you, cheap rolls available at a kiosk/ small shop in the station. Also, hide it. [This advice came from a seasoned traveller and I happened to remember it while sitting in the station waiting for my first Russian Railways experience. I was soooooooooooo grateful.]

Other advice, in no particular order

• tickets can be bought 45 days in advance (that’s for today + 44 days) from stations and online, with some tickets now offering an airplane-style online registration to cut out physical tickets.
• on some journeys, you can specify men-only, women-only and mixed carriages, but you can’t purchase a mix of these categories in a single purchase online.
• check out the type of train to see what facilities you get for a longer journey – sometimes you get food and bedding supplied (more expensive obviously), otherwise you’ll have to pay for food and bedding, which can still be damp.
• there’ll be a samovar (a water boiler) in each carriage so you can get hot water for free – it’s cheaper to take your own tea, assuming you’ve got a mug, and instant food (soup, mashed potato and noodles can all be bought in suitable containers for this purpose).
• on the subject of food and based on observation, too many Russians follow the same order of how they consume food on trains (so many that I refused to believe that it’s cultural or learned, more innate like birds’ ability to navigate using magnetic fields): first, the meat you cooked yourself; second, cheese; third, sausage and boiled eggs; last, whatever shit’s remaining, probably the instant noodles I mentioned earlier.
• don't leave your food and drink out unattended: friends of the family got robbed, they believe after having drinks spiked - she was so deep asleep that they apparently lifted her up to steal from the storage under the bed and he was too heavy to lift.
• you can buy from individuals, stalls and kiosks when the train stops at stations. It's better to buy food that's sealed and best to take your own. Just be aware of how long you're stopping for and it's best to keep within running distance of the train in case of misinformation/ misunderstanding.

  

  Refreshing beer on a hot day.

• the best bunks are lower – its your choice whether to lie, sit or stand and you’ll have better access to a table. Though, you’ll get people from above asking to sit with you when you’re sitting – don’t suffer, if you want to lie down in the middle of the day, ask them to move. Also, the top bunks are much hotter and stuffier and there's no guarantee the window will open. Even if it does, prepare to be harangued by mothers who are phobic about drafts giving their children pneumonia even though their precious malish (little one) is in a hermetically-sealed bag, under 20 layers of clothes and thus has a face redder than a baboon's arse.
  

  

  Is the view any better up there?

• don’t be bullied into giving up a lower bunk by grannies or people with kids. It sounds heartless but the booking conditions are the same for everyone. You got off your arse 40-odd days in advance to avoid a top bunk and they didn’t (Big sigh, “It’s all they had left last week.” Sorrowful face. Even bigger sigh.) Also, Russian Railways often have big discounts, up to 50%, on advanced tickets specifically on the top bunks - who knows if they take advantage of the offer and are now trying their luck to get a lower one. The foreigner factor can be useful here in the ‘playing dumb’ sense (but don't let them move your stuff, especially when you've gone to the toilet - kick up a fuss if necessary) but expect grannies and hassled single mothers to be nagging people “Совести у вас нет!” (Sovesti u vas net!) = you have no decency/ (social) conscience.
• the worst are the lateral bunks - less private as you’ve always got people coming/ brushing past or standing with their arses in your face where people queue and easier for opportunistic thieves.
• the better end of the carriage is the where you’ve got places numbered 1-4 as it’s closer to the samovar, the carriage attendant, i.e. safer, and near but not right next to the toilets, as at the other end (so best avoid places 34-38 unless you want to hear the toilet door banging regular at night for the next few days).
• use common sense about drinking with people you don’t know – they might just be incredibly friendly and sociable; they might be criminals. A pair of friends travelled by trains and drank with strangers; they mood soured when one of the Russians pinned my friend by the neck against the wall believing that he spoke much better Russian than he was letting on.
• also for safety, don’t flash the cash and keep valuables hidden. Keep your cash, cards and passport with you at all times.
• take plenty of reading material.
• enjoy the experience for the views, the epic scale, the adventure, the idiosyncrasies and  weirdness it has to offer

  

  I don't know if it paid for its own ticket